Reconciling with the grave (Part 1)

   Reconciliation is the re-establishment of friendly relations with an entity. The need for reconciliation arises when one

party  has been hurt, but before reconciliation comes forgiveness. How then do you establish forgiveness, let alone

reconciliation when the offender is dead?

   Let me begin with what forgiveness is not. It isn't a therapeutic process of mentally liberating the one who offended you

from some prison you created for them in your mind. It also isn't a process of  cleansing your system or ridding

yourself of the hurt done  to  you. Forgiveness, unlike what many perceive it to be, isn't a process but a decision. It's a

decision to no longer subject oneself to the pain which was once felt as a result of the wrong done against one.  It is a

decision to liberate one's mind from the emotional torture which is a consequence of the wrong committed against the

offended party. It is a once, for all 'thing'.

   Personally,  I have been wronged by someone who is now dead. The effects this persons' actions had on my life are still

very evident, but I have now come to a place where I am able to look at my situation and trust God.

    I loathed this individual when she was still alive. On getting news of this persons' demise, the first thing that came to my

mind was "Ah, she's dead. Justice has been served . Not just Justice, DIVINE JUSTICE, ." I thought I

would be happier, less disgruntled and more at peace with myself, but little did I know that I was deceiving myself. The

coming months unleashed a torrent of warring emotions, the  effect of which was so exhausting. I was angrier and more

frustrated. The focus of all my rage was now dead. Who could I tell that the reason why I wore a permanent frown and

has sleepless nights was in the grave?

    I needed to forgive, not for this person but for myself. Like a cancer, anger and pain had steadily  begun eating me up

from the inside out. I mean I was already losing weight.
   
   At this point, I need to highlight the fact that forgiveness may be difficult or outrightly impossible without receiving the life
of Christ. (More about this later).

    So, I made the decision, to forgive the memory of this person.  Suddenly the skies became clearer, my heart was lighter

and I no longer wore that dreadful frown.  Even congested  Lagos air became fresher.
To be continued.